Duvet Day? No way!

Duvet Day? No way!

Remember Duvet Day? If you don't, you can read my earlier blogs on the subject (only a few blogs back). I basically got so moody and miserable I would declare a duvet day.

In the latest blog on duvet day (the one with all the cute monkeys) I mentioned that my doctor suggested I 'not indulge the senses'. So this time around I laid off the sweets, in fact I cut out snacking altogether, including dry roasted peanuts. You would think that cutting out snacks would be enough to make anyone moody, but actually, I had some interesting results.

1. I did not notice ANY mood swings.

2. I did not get the usual cramps.

3. I did not put on weight.

4. In fact, I lost a couple pounds - something I'd been trying to do for the past year.

5. I was generally feeling quite fit and not having the usual bloating.

Wow, could my doctor have been right?!

Have a Snack-free Christmas, everyone!

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

From Golf to Spiritual Bliss

From Golf to Spiritual Bliss

My husband used to take me to the driving range in an effort to cultivate an interest in golf. He enjoyed it and I thought I might enjoy it with him. He always kept me on the driving range though, realising that to allow me to play some holes would only frustrate me, frustrate him, and frustrate those playing behind us! I never quite got the knack of it. But there were moments when I hit the ball just so, and it would fly. It would literally sing though the air. Those were magic moments. Form, contact, swing - everything - was perfect and resulted in a perfect delivery. Good golfers aim to make these moments a regular constant occurrence. I could only manage a few of these, probably by accident! Still, I know the feeling you get when it does happen, I know that it's possible for it to happen and I know that given the time, practice and effort I could become a decent golfer.

Now lets use the same model for seeking happiness, enlightenment, or spiritual bliss. We can experience any one of these in fleeting moments. They happen upon us accidentally. We know they exist. Probably we believe they are gifts, that we have no control over when they come and go. But some make it their life study to make these momentary experiences occur with greater frequency and consistency. And a few have been rather successful at it. Just like golf, it takes a certain practice or effort to increase these spiritual moments. How?

Meditation seems to be the most popular tool. If you consider that happiness, bliss, and enlightenment are stages of the mind, then learning to master the mind and thought processes would seem the logical practice for achieving these. So we light a candle, put on some background music and sit cross-legged verbalizing 'om'. Any results yet?

Meditation is a good starting point. But there is something more, something extra required. Something that takes us beyond a daily physical practice. What is that thing?

I'll stop there to let you think about that. Reply with your thoughts - what do you think that extra something is. Together we can explore and perhaps even answer this deep riddle. Om shanti.

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

Do you know where you're going to?

Do you know where you're going to?

I've had two words rattling around inside my head - Aim and Objective. I was looking for inspiration for a blog and wondered why I couldn't get inspired to write. I often get an idea and can't wait to write it down, but lately I've not felt motivated by anything. So I asked myself, what is the Aim and Objective of blogging?

In Raja Yoga we're encouraged to have an Aim and Objective. Without it, without purpose, you wander around aimlessly.

As Lewis Carroll said,

“If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there.” Many former down-and-outs swear by the benefit of adopting a purpose in order to turn your life around. Counsellors will suggest taking up a goodwill cause to grief stricken clients. An aim and objective will nourish the soul and give it the will to not only live, but thrive.

Raja Yoga teaches us how to work, play and dance in happiness. It teaches us how to build and maintain healthy relationships. It teaches us the deep secrets of who we are and where we come from. I'm a full time student of Raja Yoga because of the insights it delivers and I'm constantly refining what I've learned. So, I suppose my aim and objective in blogging is to give readers an introduction to these teachings so that they have the chance to work, play and dance in happiness, too.

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

The Science of Happiness

This morning, feeling extremely happy, I wanted to share that feeling by blogging about it. However, a friend of mine has already written a wonderful and short article on the Science of Happiness which I will borrow from the Inner Wave newsletter, Issue 9 (

http://www.bkwsu.org/uk/newsletter).

The Science of Happiness, by Dr. Prashant Kakoday

The Greek philosopher Aristotle once said:

"Happiness is the meaning and purpose of

life, the whole aim and end of human

existence." Scientists today have also begun

to recognise its importance. So, what can

science tell us about happiness?

Many observations are contrary to commonly

held beliefs. For example, wealth beyond a

certain basic minimum doesn’t lead to happiness.

In fact, it’s been found that the happiest

are those who’ve discovered their own

strengths and virtues and use them for the

greater good.

Studies show a significant link between good

works and psychological wellbeing.

Motivated volunteers are happier, regardless

of personal circumstances. The link between

exercise and happiness is also recognised. In

some studies, regular exercise was shown to

be just as effective as anti-depressants.

There are also some insights into the chemistry

of happiness. Serotonin, a neurotransmitter,

plays a major role in our experience of

happiness - high levels of it within the

synapses are associated with a feeling of

wellbeing. Conversely, most people with

depression have low serotonin levels. If we

artificially raise the level of seratonin, the

body responds by lowering its natural

production. As a result, the ‘resting level’

goes down – when the external boost wears

off.

Things like coffee, chocolates and cigarettes

all artificially raise serotonin but with long

term ‘boom and bust’ results. The same can

happen with TV, Internet, sex, music, alcohol

and violence. A lack of serotonin leads to a

loss of self-control and increases negative

feelings like anger. By rediscovering our inner

source of happiness and freeing ourselves

from even one main dependency, we can

begin to raise our own serotonin levels.

Studies show that for many, one key relationship

in life is often the key source of happiness.

On the other hand, broken relationships

are the biggest cause of unhappiness. As

with other dependencies, we can use another

person like a drug: our serotonin level

becomes linked to the presence or absence

of that person.

So is there a formula for happiness? May I

suggest:

Happiness = Truth / Desire.

The fewer desires you have, the happier you

will be. Having the right information (truth)

leads to contentment. Having the right understanding

of the self, our purpose, our origins

and our true relationships should free us from

the cycles of boom and bust and lead society

to that ultimate happiness.

Dr Prashant Kakoday is a medical doctor,

who has been studying Raja Yoga meditation

for over 20 years. He co- rdinates Brahma

Kumaris activities in Cambridge and lectures

around the world on topics ranging from

science and consciousness to the holistic

principles of life and health.

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

Loneliness?

Loneliness?

The last couple days I've been in a funny mood. I feel as if I don't belong anywhere, as if I'm not a part of any group. I feel no connection to anyone and so I just want to leave this world - to escape. Don't worry - these are not suicidal feelings. More like loneliness - feeling alone - feeling like I have nothing in common with anyone else.

I'm not a stranger to this feeling. It comes and goes. And as I get used to it, the need to escape lessens.

The funny thing about this loneliness feeling is that I know that I'm not the only one who experiences this. I'm not really alone! And this is somewhat comforting. For I know it's just another one of those human experiences. I don't have to act on it - merely tolerate it until it passes. And knowing this actually brings intoxication. I may be experiencing something less than contentment, but it doesn't mean I have to give into it. Instead, by letting it exist - by accepting it without letting it rule my life, I can get on with my spiritual work. This loneliness feeling then becomes like a cat, which follows me around until it gets hungry, thus leaving in search of food.

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org

Duvet Day Revisited

Duvet Day Revisited

If you've not yet read my previous post about my Duvet Day, I suggest you read that before reading this - it will make a lot more sense.

On Monday, I declared it 'duvet day'. Then blogged about it. Then told a few friends about it. I have had some varying responses, which I found interesting and wanted to share.

Firstly, I'll just inform the reader that in Raja Yoga we are taught to have faith in God, faith in the drama (this world life), faith in the intellect (having studied Raj Yoga principles) and faith in the family (the spiritual family). So I listened to what some of my family had to say about duvet day.

My mother was worried about my moodiness, short temper, mental health. (I really should call her.) She gave some suggestions what was behind it. She thought it was a one-off thing. I wrote back that it was a regular monthly thing and that it probably was not really as bad as I made it sound in the blog (everything seems exaggerated when I'm in those states of mind so I really didn't mean to mislead if I did). She also told me she loved me. Awww. :D

My spiritual sister suggested I speak to a doctor. There is medicine you can take to help such a condition. "After all," she said, "you wouldn't want to strangle your husband." What?! Strangle my husband?! The thought hadn't really crossed my mind. But it makes me wonder about whether it crossed hers!

Another senior sister was concerned that I had gotten so bad that I would need to spend the day in bed. "But I didn't spend the day in bed - I was actually quite productive - that was the point of the blog." But she understood why my mother was concerned. Neither of us are the types to stay in bed, even when deathly ill. So I could see her point.

I also spoke with a doctor friend of mine. I asked him what is causing these bouts of emotion and temper. Am I just going through chemical/hormonal upsets or am I really really good at repressing something deep and troublesome? He assured me that it was more likely to be chemical/hormonal. He also suggested that if one resists indulging the senses, one can become less sensitive to bodily maladies and, eventually, they will hold no influence over the mental state. Hmmm.

Do I indulge the senses? Um, yeah - especially during (or just before) those phases. I get terrible food cravings and I give into them. Especially sweets. And looking back on how I feel after indulging, I can't help but believe he's got a point.

So I will be experimenting with renunciation during cravings. All in the name of science, better health and a better mental state.

Om shanti.

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

When the going gets tough, the tough have a duvet day!

When the going gets tough, the tough have a duvet day!

The last few days I've been going through a phase of moodiness and high emotion. I will feel depressed and start crying for no reason. I will lose my temper and bite your head off for the slightest affront. I will drag my feet throughout the day with no motivation. And I will feel guilty for all of it!

Today I woke up to grey skies and the promise from BBC that the sun would not put in an appearance. I decided that instead of moping around, I would just declare it a duvet day. For those who have been following my blogs, you know that a duvet day means wrapping up in a duvet or quilt on the couch and eating some (or all) of your favourite foods. I declared to my husband (my biggest critic - yes, he's harder on me than I am) that I was having a duvet day, and he said nothing. Was this his approval? Or was he afraid of being confronted by Mrs. Hyde / the Incredible Hulkess / the Bride of Frankenstein rolled into one? I don't know, but because he didn't object, I felt ok about having a duvet day. Yes, this was going to be great.

I spent about an hour reading and eating breakfast. Next I got on the internet and did some surfing. I thought, while I'm here I might as well respond to some emails. I caught up on my admin tasks for my business. I then uploaded some photos for listing some items on Freecycle and Ebay. I started an Ebay selling account. When my husband asked if I'd do a small task for him, I responded, "I'll do anything you ask, as long as it's not unpleasant," which could be anything other than eating chocolates. But what he asked would only take 10 minutes of my time, so I generously gave up 10 minutes of duvet day without feeling put out.

The funny thing is, I think I got more done today than had it been a 'regular' day. I still kept up with the daily tasks of getting daughter ready for school, doing the school runs, cooking dinner and getting daughter and friend off to Brownies. I even got daughter and friend to do their homework. I was so productive today it's frightening.

I don't think it would be wise to label everyday 'duvet day' just to up my productivity. But it becomes an interesting case study. What made me more productive? What caused me to enjoy the day and feel refreshed by evening? Why do I feel such a high sense of achievement on what should have been a throw-away day? Why do I feel less moody?

The biggest difference I see is that I moved out of 'I should' awareness to 'I could'. I set no expectations on myself, so anything that got done was a bonus. I gave myself permission to rest, but only used what I needed. I removed the heavy mill-stone around my neck and just enjoyed a burden-free day. I did everything because I wanted to, not because I had to. It was very cool.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I feel it's too cheeky to declare two duvet days in a row. But maybe that's just what I need. ;D

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

Renunciation? No, I'll take Substitution, please.

Renunciation? No, I'll take Substitution, please.

There is something odd about taking a stand against something by openly renouncing or boycotting said item, then searching for a substitute. I'm not standing in judgement - I'm observing my own behaviour. When I decided I needed to be dairy free (because of intolerances) I kept looking for a suitable cheese substitute. In trying out various cheese substitutes, not only was I terribly disappointed each time, but I was probably adding a lot of unnecessary chemicals to the body - trying to fix one problem only to introduce another.

Another example I witness often is those who become vegetarian only to eat meat substitutes. One has to ask, isn't the point of being vegetarian to embrace the consumption of vegetables? I know that if I had stayed on the meat substitution track, I would have missed out on a lot of delicious vegetarian dishes - ones that don't need to pretend to be meat.

Other examples include those wearing guilt-free faux leather, animal prints, faux fur. This ultimately says, "I'm willing to give up guilt for animal rights, but not fashion."

Even more subtly, what about smokers who give up smoking only to chew gum, dieters who eat sugar free candy, alcoholics who drink alcohol-free wine, etc, etc. Yes, it's better to substitute than to not do anything at all, but aren't they just perpetuating the myth that they are missing out on something - like the real thing?

We are a people who want to take credit for giving up something without actually giving up anything. And in doing so, we miss out on the true spirit of renunciation and the rewards that come with it. And you can chew on that for a bit - it's meat-free, dairy-free, and doesn't contain nicotine.

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

The Lottery

The Lottery

I was pondering this idea of time. It's sort of like the story of a friend of a friend. He won the lottery. Not a huge amount, just a couple million pounds. He was a very sensible person so he figured the thing he must do is to speak to an investment broker to figure out how best to use the money. But as he had only just received it and was in a celebratory mood, he decided he would search for a broker later.

He started spending a little of the money - a couple hundred here, a few hundred there - to just enjoy himself before he got down to the business of deciding what to do with it. He gave some to family and bought a few things for friends. He was spending sensibly - not too much because he wanted to retire early and live off of what he had left. And what he did spend was just a drop compared to what he had won.

Time passed and he still had not contacted a broker. He knew he should, but his social life had taken off and he just wasn't finding the time to do the research and start the interviews. Besides, he had met someone new and was trying to keep her happy.

Eventually he got to a point where he wasn't sure how much he had left and if it was enough to live on. He was afraid to contact a broker now because he might get bad news and so he procrastinated further. When he finally did contact someone, a recommendation from a friend, he found out he still had enough to retire on, but not enough to support a family or allow him the same sort of lifestyle without earning income elsewhere. Where had it all gone? He realized then that it had slipped through his fingers all too quickly because he was not aware of how he was using it.

Time works much the same way. In India, men will put off spiritual practice until retirement age. Then they renounce everything and devote all their time to their practice. That's all well and good, but where is the guarantee that we will reach retirement age? We don't know how many days we have left. Isn't it better to take stock now, increase our efforts and stop putting off those disciplines that we have been collecting but not using? It's our future that we're working towards. So you have to ask yourself, what kind of future do you want?

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

Plenty of Effort, Not Enough Time

Plenty of Effort, Not Enough Time

I'm discovering and hearing over and over again that there are no short cuts on this journey towards enlightenment. Two commodities are required: time and effort.

Effort is required to break our old habits of living an ordinary life and pulling ourselves up a few notches until we are living elevated lives with elevated thoughts, words and actions.

Effort becomes lax when we believe the myth, 'I've got plenty of time to... - I'll make effort tomorrow.' What we don't realize is that transformation from ordinary to elevated does not happen overnight. It requires changing our thought patterns and this takes time - lots of it. In Raja Yoga, it is recommended that you spend 8 hours a day on this effort. Eight hours for sleeping, eight hours for working, eight hours for meditation. Why so much time? Because that is how much time it takes!

My first reaction is, 'I don't have that much time, I should give up!' But if we're honest with ourselves, giving up is not really on the cards. Giving up doesn't make things better. Instead, let me start now with 5 minutes. And increase the amount daily. When I make a habit of putting some time aside, then it accumulates.

Om shanti.

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

Beware the Grumblies

Beware the Grumblies

Today was one of those days. Not bad. But things didn't happen as quickly as I would have liked. The installation of our new printer consumed much of my time. Rather, the failing of the installation of our new printer consumed much of my time. Rain caused my bike trailer to come off twice. Interruptions when cleaning the flat meant it took more than half an hour longer. These are all little annoyances that causes the 'grumblies'. Grumblies are dangerous because even though they are trivial, if you poke at someone going through a grumblie, then it becomes too much and that person is likely to bite your head off!

Whilst cleaning the flat, I was listening to Mike George's talk from when he visited Cambridge recently. It's about an hour and a half long, but well worth a listen if you have the time - I'll include a link below. He was giving a talk to introduce his book, The 7 Myths of Love. One of the things he pointed out in the talk was that we learn as children that happiness comes from having toys. And that we get love when we make other people happy. So, early on, we learn to externalize love and happiness instead of learning that we are love and happiness. He said it much better than I'm relaying it and it's near the beginning of the talk so you don't have to listen to the whole thing to get that part of it.

It just got me thinking, how many times to I expect others to make me happy? How many times do I expect things to work out for my benefit? How much happiness am I missing out on because I wait for external sources to produce it?

Om shanti.

Click on this link and then scroll down to the bottom for Mike George's lecture.
http://www.innerspace.org/cambridge/downloads/


Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

I Know Where I've Been

I Know Where I've Been

My daughter has fallen in love with the musical, Hairspray. We have it on DVD and she's been learning all the songs. There's one song I particularly like - I Know Where I've Been. I've included the lyrics below following this post and the link to the video if you want to hear it.

The song speaks about the struggle and hope for minorities to be accepted into society. But for me it shows a snapshot of a journey. And when I compare it to my own spiritual journey it makes me stop for a moment and consider, where have I been, where am I going to, what is my struggle, what is my hope, and what/who is the light that's showing me the way. If you don't know the beginning, the middle and the end of your journey, then how do you know when you get there? How do you know your headed in the right direction?

Om shanti.

I KNOW WHERE I'VE BEEN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NfW_UnoOLQ

MISS MAYBELLE
There's a light
In the darkness
Though the night
Is black as my skin
There's a light
Burning bright
Showing me the way
But i know where i've been

There's a cry
In the distance
It's a voice
That comes from deep within
There's a cry
Asking why
I pray the answer's up ahead
yeah
'Cause i know where i've been

There's a road
We've been travelin'
Lost so many on the way
But the riches
Will be plenty
Worth the price
The price we had to pay

There's a dream
In the future
There's a struggle
That we have yet to win
And there's pride
In my heart
'Cause i know
Where i'm going
Yes I do !
And i know where i've been
Yeah

MISS MAYBELLE & ENSEMBLE
There's a road (There's a road)
We must travel (We must travel)
There's a promise (There is a promise)
We must make (That we must make)
But the riches (oh but the riches)
Will be plenty (The riches will be plenty)
Worth the risk (Worth the risk)
And chances that we take (and the chances that we)
There's a dream
Yeah yey yeah
In the future

There's a struggle

That we have yet to win
Use that pride
In our hearts
To lift us up
Until tomorrow

'Cause just to sit still
Would be a sin

ENSEMBLE
I know it, i know it
I know where i'm going

Miss Maybelle
Lord knows i know..
Where i've been

Miss Maybelle & ENSEMBLE
Oh! When we win,
I'll give thanks to my god
'Cause i know where i've been

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

More on Renunciation

More on Renunciation

What is the greatest renunciation? Raja Yoga teaches that renouncing Body Consciousness is the greatest renunciation. What does this mean? Well, we have a habit of thinking that the body we occupy is who we are. But that doesn't really make sense. Here's why.

Cell replacement: Over a period of 7 years, the body completely replaces every cell in the body. After 7 years, if I am the body, I am no longer the person I was. I am some body different.

Death experience: The body needs something extra to be conscious. The body can die and come back to life again, but the experience of the one who dies is not that he ceased to exist, but he continued to exist apart from the body.

Past life experience: Some individuals have been able to recall details from a past life and their accounts have been scrutinized and found to be true. Somehow that information has been carried on - but not through the body.

Raja Yoga says that our true being is that of an atma (soul). We are genderless, ageless, and eternal. We are very small. An atma does not take up any space. But it is very powerful. It can master the movement of a body and bodily functions. With the power of thought an atma can achieve many things.

I like this idea that I am an atma. That this body is just a vehicle. That at some point I'll get to trade it in for a new model. :D

There is great benefit in knowing this. But to keep it in the awareness takes constant effort. And that is what makes it the greatest renunciation.

Om shanti.



Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

Things I Could Really Do Without

Things I Could Really Do Without

In my Raja Yoga class recently, we had a lesson on renunciation. Renunciation is one of those disciplines that doesn't seem to be appreciated in the Western World. With mottoes like 'he who dies with the most toys wins,' it's not surprising that we find renunciation difficult. I'm just trying to think back to my own years growing up. We learned values like 'waste not, want not' and 'treat others how you would like to be treated'. And in Christianity, there was the concept that the more you gave the more you received (charity). But I don't recall any strong emphasis on renunciation. The closest slogan I can find is 'everything in moderation'. In other words, everything is ok, as long as you don't indulge too much.

Ah, wait, there IS renunciation in Christianity. There is the season of lent when you are supposed to give up something. I remember my friends taking up smoking so that they'd have something to give up. But fasting during lent was not something my family practised. I never fully understood what lent was about until the film, Chocolat. So I missed out on some major renunciation. And having not practised renunciation, I never learned of the benefits.

I've been examining the idea of renunciation lately. I don't know about where you live, but here in the UK people are past renouncing. They had to for the war and so they feel they don't need to any more. Or they feel as if they still are renouncing - out of habit - and that everyone should practice their form of renouncing. Or they are too young to know what it means to do without and they don't care to learn. Renunciation has a negative feeling of 'doing without' or 'giving up' or 'making life uncomfortable'. But that is not the true spirit of renunciation.

The reason for renunciation is to cut out things that are unhelpful or harmful. One very basic example is smoking. I might enjoy smoking. It might help me to cope with stress. But it has lasting, and sometimes fatal, consequences. By smoking, I'm abusing my body and those bodies that share the same immediate environment. So I may choose to renounce smoking when I fully realize that the harm outweighs the benefit.

It got me thinking, what other things can I renounce. Here are a few ideas.

Stress. Can one renounce stress? Sure. Who creates my stress? I do. I put pressure on myself to perform. Or I allow other's expectations of me to dictate what I should do and how I should spend my time. Or I allow others to affect my emotions. Is renouncing stress easy? No. But it can be done.

Vices. Most big vices I've renounced. Lying, stealing, cheating, murder. What about anger (subtle violence)? What about greed? There are lots of small vices that, if I renounce them, it will improve my life and my relationships. Some feel they don't have any vices to renounce. I'd like to live with one of these people. If they are truly viceless, I can't think of a better housemate. :)

Sweets. Definitely. Why? Because through taking in too much sugar, I put myself at risk of illness. Lately I've been eating a lot of sugary foods. I have a sweet tooth, so I'm grabbing a sugary snacks in a hurry because I don't have time to produce a proper meal. Which snacks do I reach for? A cereal bar, chocolate, fruit yogurt. Some of these things sound healthy, but when I look at the ingredients I find that the yogurt and the cereal bar have more sugar than the chocolate! But I digress. By renouncing sweets, I practise loving care for the body and the body will be in a better position to serve me longer term.

So, renunciation is a choice. Through renunciation I choose to do something good for myself whilst renouncing something not so good. And in the practice of renunciation, it's helpful to focus on the benefit and not the object of renunciation. I remember when I stopped eating meat, I found myself looking for meat substitutes because I was focused on NOT EATING MEAT rather than EATING DELICIOUS NEW (and vegetarian) DISHES. Where we focus our attention will determine how much effort is required during our first weeks of renunciation.

Well, enough on renunciation. I'm hoping to NOT renounce blogging any longer. It's a useful learning tool for me and I enjoy sharing experiences and musings with the wider family.

Om shanti.

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.