Monday 22 December 2008

See only the specialities...


In Raja Yoga, we're taught when looking at others to see only their specialities, not their defects. I was just thinking how useful this advice would have been for my past employers. ;) When in employment (or seeking employment) we are groomed as to what employers want to hear - that we are self-motivated, that we are ambitious, that we work well in a team as well as on our own. Based on that description, I'd make the ideal employee. And at the time, I really thought I was. I believed those things about myself because I said it so convincingly in my interviews.

In my last place of full time employment, I became slightly more aware of myself. I discovered I was not really ambitious. I came clean to my employer. He was, I suspect, not terribly ambitious himself, and so he was fine with my declaration. Afterall, to keep me happy, he only needed to call me into his office occassionally, ask me if I'm happy, and tell me I was doing a good job. He was very hands off and that suited me.

After he was made redundant, I got a new boss who was new to management. He went on all the training sessions which taught him how to motivate and move his staff along a career path. Not sure why moving us along a career path was so important. I suspect it was to keep up the firms ratings for being a good employer - everyone has a career path. I just wanted to be told what to do, do it well, and be appreciated. Now I felt I was being forced to be ambitious. But I played along and I went on different training sessions like negotiation skills - which came in handy later when I went back for a contract position and had to negotiate my daily rate. ;)

Being a consultant was great. No boss, just a client. No one pushing me up a career ladder, just someone to tell me what to do, let me do it well and show appreciation each month via my bank account. ;)


So what does this have to do with seeing the specialities? It's a recognition that everyone is different. We're all motivated by different things - and I would argue we're rarely motivated by the self! And to get on with all our different relationships, we have to stop expecting others to fit into our own mold. As a project manager I found there are some who constantly miss the deadline, but they turn out excellent (and, dare I say, flawless) work. There are others who finish timely and, amazingly, accurately. Some are so accurate, they give you exactly what you ask for - so you have to make sure your request is accurate as well! Some are proactive and will check with you first on the finer details.

The point is, once you have discovered a person's speciality, you will then know how to go about making reasonable requests and getting the most out of them. I'm not saying it's easy. But if you're at a loss as to where to start, then start with respect. Respect will get you far and buy you time as you suss out the other's speciality. ;D

You crossed the line...



My husband's God-son wrote a song in his early teens with the above title. It had a hard rock feel to it and the lyrics talked about several cases where someone went a step too far and then the chorus repeated the phrase 'You crossed the line.' It was very clever and catchy - a song that any parent (or God-parent) would be proud of.

When we use the phrase 'crossed the line' we mean traversing from the right side of the line to the wrong side - that some inappropriate act was committed. I'm now going to draw for you another line. This line is drawn higher with an above space and a below space.

Those above the line, you could say, are all-knowing. They see the big picture. Their vision is not limited. For them, it is obvious that we (souls) are eternal. It is obvious that everyone is connected (brothers and sisters). It is obvious that we (souls) already have all that we need. Because of these understandings, those above the line feel secure. They have no fear of loss - they cannot lose anything. They have no desires because for them, they already have everything. They are content and also generous with what they have. They see the big picture and so their motivation is to act in ways that will benefit all.

By contrast, those below the line have a limited knowledge. They do not have the understanding that they are eternal and so they fear death. They do not have the understanding that they have everything already and so they desire a lot and fear the loss of everything they are under the illusion of possessing. Contentment evades them because they always want something more. They cannot be so generous because they see what they have as limited and they don't want to run out. They hold tight to things they cannot really possess and so they miss out on the beautiful gifts that are their birthrights. They do not see everyone as a brother and sister but will treat strangers with suspicion until they can make a valuation based on past but limited experience. They become attached to those things they cannot really possess and so eventual loss brings sorrow.

Which side of the line are you?

I believe children, in their innocence, start out above the line, but then through our well-meaning education, we pull them below. Now, I'm trying to get back to being above the line.

It reminds me of that wall at team-building camps - you can't get over it by yourself, but with the co-operation of many we can all get over it!

A lesson in independence...



Hello everyone! I'm back blogging and it feels great. Have I missed it? Yes. I've had several blogs running through my mind over the past few weeks and had I had time to pen them, I would have. But those tidbits will have to wait until another time.

Recently, a friend of mine asked me, 'How can you remain light when you have to depend on other people?' The answer? Don't be dependent! It was a glib answer and is not so helpful when you consider that the body needs to eat and needs clothing (at least during UK winters), etc. Yes, the body is quite dependent on a lot. But the soul is not dependent on anything. The soul needs nothing. It has no need for food or clothing or cars. It has no use for them even. When I remember that I am a soul and that I am only visiting this body, then I am no longer dependent on anything. Not even the body.

Ok, the soul requires the body for action, etc. But the soul is eternal. Bodies come and go, but the soul lives on regardless. The soul does not NEED action. The soul does not NEED the body. When I have this realization, then I am completely free. I am no longer slave to those things which I felt dependency. I am no longer needing Tom and MySpace. In fact, I no longer NEED to blog!

This is not an easy realization to digest. What does it mean to be soul conscious vs. body conscious? This is where our effort lies. However, when we have that feeling of soul consciousness, there is nothing like it. I wish this feeling for everyone. And then I wish everyone to feel it constantly.

Thanks for your kind emails. All is well and I should be permently moved back into the house by the end of this week.